When You Know

(FYI: This post is long. It’s worth it to read to the end.)

Today, Josh and I have been dating for 1 year. IMG_7817
It’s crazy to think that it’s already been a year, and that it’s only been a year.
Some days, it feels just like yesterday that we went on our first date.
Other days, it feels like we’ve been together forever.

I want to share our story with you today.
Some people said we were moving too fast. Others questioned me when I moved across the state to be with him. To all that, I have said โ€œwhen you know you know.โ€ I haven’t been comfortable sharing much else and I honestly didnโ€™t know how else to describe it then. I figured our 1 year was a good time to share!

Our story is a testimony to the love and goodness of God. He gets all the glory for bringing Josh & I together. He knew from the start that we would end up together someday.
Let’s start with the timeline of when we first met.

Aug 2008: MA starts going to MorningStar Church youth group.
July 2010: Josh and MA become FB friends.
…so I’m not sure exactly when we met, but my best guess is sometime in 2009 since I became much more active at MSC then. It was a pretty instant crush for me though ๐Ÿ˜‰

In the end of our high school careers and into our college years….we were acquaintances since there was a group of us from youth group that hung out all the time. Such good memories. (Like the one time in July 2014 when I got pulled over at 1:30am in St. Charles for speeding on the way back from Godfather’s in Springfield, IL with Josh and 2 other friends in my car. Oops.)

In 2015/2016, we saw each other maybe a handful of times on Sunday’s at church when we were both in town. Every time I was home, I would make sure to say hi to his mom at church. His family is pretty great.

So, Spring 2017. Josh’s parents were in Springfield Mother’s Day weekend for a wedding, so I met up with them that Sunday morning for coffee before they headed home. I remember leaving that morning just hopeful that someday, something would happen between Josh and I. Josh graduated from Columbia College and his sister, Katie, graduated from high school. They were having a joint graduation party Memorial Day Weekend

21273762_10155491285960977_6001583177919839450_oI went home for Memorial Day weekend since my brother was graduating in addition to Josh’s graduation party. My mom & uncle gave me crap at lunch asking me if Josh and I were a thing. I said “not yet, but hopefully someday soon.” I spent the entire afternoon/evening at Josh’s house for the party. It was so much fun. After the party ended, I just hung out with him & his family. We eventually watched the “Mommy Dead & Dearest” documentary since Dawn & I had talked about it, and Josh had been wanting to see it. I went home about 1am.

When I left that night, we agreed to try & meet up Sunday afternoon to catch up before we had to head back to our separate cities. We met at Starbucks around 4pm that Sunday afternoon…and left at 8pm. That was the 1 year anniversary of his Aunt Jenโ€™s passing. I take it as a big deal that he spent time away from his family that day, and I take it as a nod from Heaven. We talked about anything and everything under the sun during those 4 hours. From faith to relationships to dreams for the future…everything. It was great. We didn’t realize how long it had been until the sun was starting to go down. Before we left, we decided to make plans to see each other again. I got home that night and my Mom commented on how happy I looked. The next day we started texting regularly.

I went to St. Louis a few weeks later, Father’s Day weekend. A very difficult weekend for me. I take the fact that Josh & I started dating that weekend as another part of the healing process of having a parent that is still living absent from my life.

His mom took some photos of me Saturday afternoon so that I could use them in the launch of this blog. Afterwards, we went to downtown St. Charles…our first date.
Drinks at Tony’s on Top
Escape Room
Dinner at Bar Louie
Then back to his parents house to hang out on the deck with his fam.

We got back to his house around 9pm and hung out with his family. Everyone went to bed after 11, and it was just us out there. We laid there silently looking at the stars…and a storm was rolling in. He finally asked me “Do you ever see us as being more than friends?” and we all know what my answer was ๐Ÿ™‚ Then we had our first kiss in a storm on his parent’s deck…(Josh told me to add that.)

Here we are, a year later. Living in Kansas City with big dreams for our future together.

There’s a few other “God moments” weaved into the years before He connected us.

  • Two to three times between when we first met and started dating(and once or twice since)…I had dreams that were very clear about Josh & I ending up together. Kinda creepy, I know. I didn’t tell people because I didn’t know what to think of it. Being years into my faith journey now, I firmly believe that those were visions from the Holy Spirit. Some of you might still think that’s weird, but I feel led to share it publicly. I didn’t even tell Josh until like 5 months into our relationship because I didn’t want him to freak out when I said “I had dreams about us when I was like 17, that we were together. I know now that those were from the Holy Spirit about my future.” I shared this in our lifegroup last weekend when we were talking about our experiences with the Holy Spirit.
  • In January of 2016, an incident happened in my family, and my dad has not been in my life since. My dad & I were never close, but I immediately grieved that I wouldn’t have a dad at my wedding. Every girls dream whether they have a dad or not. The Lord begun my healing very quickly, by giving me the nudge that a relationship was coming…I just had to have faith and be patient. Prior to this, I already had the feeling that the first guy I dated would be the one I will marry. That’s Josh ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • In June of 2016, I was reading the book “The Circle Maker” with my friend Marla. I had never read the book before. If you haven’t, go read it. It’ll change your life forever. As we sat in Barnes & Noble one night, we decided we were going to write out our own circles. I half seriously circled “get engaged in 2017.” I figured I was dreaming REALLY BIG…since I wasn’t even in a relationship yet. But we also never know what God is going to do in our lives. Now we all know, I did not get engaged in 2017. But God taught me a big lesson during 2016 and 2017…continue to have faith and patience and everything will fall together at the perfect moment. In 2017, I fell in love with the man I am going to marry.

Josh and I have been through a lot in the past year.
Living in separate cities, job loss, crappy jobs, my dad’s trial…
Every little thing, good and bad, brought us closer together.

I’m madly in love with him.
Josh brings out the best in me, and brings so much love, happiness, and joy into my life. I pray that I do the same for him.
I thank God everyday for those visions He gave me as a teenager.
I thank God everyday for the peace and comfort He gave me that a relationship was coming..even if it meant I had to be really patient and pray a lot for the man that God was going to send me.

Patience is worth it. I’m a SEVERELY impatient person..but I have learned this beautiful and hard lesson. I pray today that whatever He has put on your heart, continue to believe for that. He will bring it, at HIS perfect moment. Just have patience ๐Ÿ˜‰

When you know, you know.


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