(Warning: I’m probably…no definitely…going to cuss a time or two or twelve during this blog post. I apologize in advance to all of those who are going to be disappointed in me but I am also not sorry at the same time because I’m only human and sometimes those are the only words that adequately describe what I’m trying to portray.)
Let’s take our minds back to 2016. Many people called that year one of the worst ever. I know it was for me in one way or another. 2016 was shit. I personally believe that the first week of October 2017 is shit. Like, I’m over it ya’ll. This has been the week from HELL. Someone please tell me that I am not alone here. Honestly, it’s hard to properly describe exactly how this week has been for me. I’m surprised I made it to Friday…which makes me truly grateful for being able to get out of bed every day this week. And trust me, getting out of bed is a struggle for me every week but this week it was 10,000 times worse because I just couldn’t even.
Our Monday’s all started off with news of the Vegas shootings. It broke me. I don’t consider myself a true empath (although I heart all my empath friends!) but things do affect my heart and my soul very deeply. We never like hearing stories about mass shootings—or shootings or crimes of any type really, but I am extra sensitive to shootings due to its personal impact on my family. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. When I finally did get up, I showered and laid back down until it was time to leave for work. I couldn’t read the articles on social media. I didn’t want to see the pictures or watch the video footage. I just cannot seem to wrap my head around why our country sucks so much right now. I love my country, but we have a problem here. I say WE because in the wise words of High School Musical, “we’re all in this together.” Sorry to burst some bubbles, but WE have created the problems our society has. The Vegas shooter was somehow hurt so badly that he couldn’t live with his anger and came up with this grand scheme to inflict mass amounts of harm on other people. He was sick. He was broken. I think we’re all sick and we’re all broken.
We have forgotten how to help people. We have forgotten how to love and care for others. We have forgotten how to be one nation under God. We’ve forgotten how to be true to ourselves. Our society has become so wrapped up in things like political agendas and religious affiliations, that we can’t properly function anymore. Back to the HSM train, we are ALL in this together. I don’t care what political party you side with or what Higher Power you do or do not believe in. You are here. I am here. We are together. The United States as a whole is a big old bitch right now. I’m not taking myself out of the equation because I know I can be a HUGE bitch sometimes (and sometimes I get a thrill out of it…help me Jesus) but I’m over this. I cannot even with this society. Something needs to change because things are not going to get better on their own. What do we do now?
Besides being hit hard by news of the shootings, my week just continued to go downhill. Satan took that sadness and caused my depression and anxiety to rear it’s ugly head. I haven’t been myself all week. Work has been a little rough and me already being on edge has not helped the situation. This society is continuing to go downhill. When will we hit rock-bottom? Or are we already there? I felt like I’ve been walking at rock bottom all week and I know I need to up my self care game. I’m making changes for my personal mental and physical health, and I’m brainstorming ways I can serve my community well to impact our nations health. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m sick and tired of this unhealthy pile of shit that unfortunately is the United States of America.
Peace and blessins.