Welcome back, friends. Happy day.
I’ve been teetering on what I want to write about next. To be honest, as excited and ready as I am to write and share, I’m terrified.
Terrified of what my friends will think.
Terrified of what people who don’t know me well (or at all) will think.
Terrified of what my church family will think.
Terrified of what my mom will think.
Terrified of what my boyfriend will think.
(Disclaimer: If I post big things that could hurt other people because they were/are involved in some way, or things that my mom and boyfriend don’t know yet but need to, I will make sure my posts are pre-read and they have a warning before the post goes live.)
You may think using the word “terrified” is overdramatic, and sometimes I would agree with that. But what I feel inside is legitimate terror. Thanks for that one, anxiety. While my anxiety is pretty well managed right now, it’s something that I unfortunately deal with on a regular basis. And when you throw in depression on top of that, I’m pretty much a ridiculous hot mess. But it’s okay, because I know I’ll be okay because God is with me. Even in the middle of this mess, I still have hope.
Here’s what I hear the Lord speaking to my heart as I write about being terrified.
“I have created something magnificent in you. Your story is beautiful. Even though it’s hard to share, I want you to share it. You can and will impact others. Share it. Do not be afraid, for I am with you in this journey.”
OK, God. Got it. I’ll do it. I’m turning my terror into triumph. And I challenge you to do the same.
What are you terrified of today? Take a minute (or however many you need) and write your fears and worries down on a piece of paper. When you’re done, crumple up the paper and rip it to shreds. Take a deep breath and throw it away. Or set it on fire…whichever one you feel is more exciting, but I take no responsibility if you set your house on fire in addition to your crumpled paper.
My story matters. I can be triumphant.
Your story matters. You can be triumphant. Have hope.
Go out into the world and be awesome.
See you soon.